I'm tired of feeling hopeless and uninspired. I keep thinking negative thoughts, and end with dramatically saying, "ugh, I hate my life," or "ugh, I wanna die." I keep pushing myself through the same process and it just keeps going and going and it's the worst. I don't wanna wake up and be tired and not do anything. I wanna believe in myself.
My therapist use to tell me to talk to the younger version of myself who's been through all the 'trauma,' that's made me who I am today. I forget about her all the time. I just cry and wail and not try. I keep thinking I'll fail my family and never get married, hell never go on a proper date. I am confident that I am lovely. But I am also confident that I don't necessarily have the best time in meeting new people. Most people call me awkward, and on some days, even a loser. I used to think that I wanted to have invisibility as a super power, but I don't need it because I am invisible. It's a power I wish I didn't have. It's terrible for the industry that I'm mean and it's hard because all I wanna do is tell stories, but that's so hard already. I'm hoping for miracles, Santa. Santa, This year I'd like the following for Christmas, or for 2018
I know it seems like a long list, so eve if one (anything with money) will truly help. I love you forever and always and hope and know that we will all be okay. In the end. I am pretty, I am beautiful, and I am worth loving. I love you. In the end.
1 Comment
nelia
11/28/2017 08:38:04 am
and i luv dis 2 <3
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November 2021
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