I'm going to be very vague. If you know me, you may know what I'm talking about, if not then it's alright just follow. I need to vent...
Earlier this week: I was blankly starting at a door as I stood in this beautiful place. The weather was perfect and I was surrounded by beautiful people. It seemed unreal, almost like a dream but also a bit like a nightmare. I carried on with my day, at the same place, and tried to do things right. I didn't want to mess up. However as the day slowly continued, the same five words kept going through my mind: "So it's come to this?" And every time I'd think that, I'd laugh. I don't belong here, I don't know if it's worth my time. It's not my thing but luckily I can fake being good at it.
I'm sure I can be honest here, but I don't wanna risk it, you know? I need to embrace change. Whether it's a new set of friends, a new job, or even a new place to live. I was told earlier this week that I'm not the type of person that enjoys changes, in fact, I fear them. She wasn't wrong, I do fear change. So what do I gotta think about when I'm at this spot? How can I keep being motivated? How can you?
Well first thing's first...if I don't embrace change then nothing happens, and if nothing happens then I don't achieve my dreams. Every day there's no change is a day you're stuck in a reality you don't like living.
Stay positive friends, success is being able to go through from one failure to the next.
As strange as it may, or may not, sound I always think about what would happen if I was the last woman on Earth? I mean sure, I'd get action but I feel like death would come soon after. What would happen? I'd feel obligated to get pregnant and re-populate. But then I'd have to get pregnant at least a few times. And hopefully I'd give birth to girls and girls only. I feel like the world would go wild without women, but if I were surrounded by smart men, I'd feel like they'd keep me somewhere safe.
I write, you read, we friends.