Dream Cast:
Denise: Aidy Bryant Lisa: Vanessa Bayer Marina: Cecily Strong DENISE walks in carrying a CARTON of ICE CREAM. She sits next to her best friend LISA. The following is done over-dramatically. Lisa: Did you get the kind I like? Denise: Cookie Dough-- Lisa: Yes! Door knocks. Denise gets up and opens the door. MARINA, a tall beautiful woman enters, she is holding a GROCERY BAG. Marina: Hey girl hey! Denise: How was your audition? Marina: Ugh it was exhausting. Lisa: Tell us all about it! Denise: Yo you seem really down for having just auditioned for Vampire Diaries. Marina: (mixed) I know I’m gonna sound so unappreciative but sometimes I feel like... being a man would be easier ya know? Lisa: Preach. Denise: Men can eat as much ice cream as we do and literally still look beautiful...rugged. Marina: And if they’re fat, it doesn’t necessarily mean they won't get booked for film or TV! Denise: If women were fat-- Lisa: Ooh child, please. If women are fat we’d…we’d-- Denise: We wouldn’t be getting as many auditions as you've been getting, Marina. Marina: I know I know and again I’m not bitching…but I am. It’s just that everything is so black and white out there. I just wish I was a boy. Lisa: Yeah…it would be nice to pee standing up. Marina: We could do so much...more…physically… Denise: Oh what I would do for a beard. Marina: Why do you want a beard? Denise: So I can hide my double chin. End of Play.
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November 2021
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