Hot and Bothered

#dtla

So it's 82 degrees in beautiful Los Angeles and I am miserable. I'm all about the sun but I ain't about the heat. Add LA traffic and apartment hunting to the mix and you have my worst afternoon.

What we want: a safe neighborhood where we can easily commute to Hollywood, Burbank, Silverlake, Dtla, etc.

What we want: an affordable place...in LA. So fingers crossed!

As i was making my third or fourth go at finding a parking space I was blocked by pedestrians from making a right turn. I know I'm the worst but pedestrians are annoying when you're driving. (And vice versa). Anyway. There was a man on a wheelchair struggling to cross the street when this other man going the opposite direction stopped. For sure I thought he was about to rob the poor guy but instead he pushed him. Now both of them aren't well off. They're not even middle class. They're both wearing dirty clothes just struggling to go on about life.

But there it was. Kindness. The guy stopped and helped him across the street. I don't know I guess it just made me think. It made me stop being angry at all the traffic and it made me think. It made me a little ashamed. I don't show enough kindness or gratitude and I always complain about the world. It made me think: "shut the fuck up Mara."

When I become financially successful I've dreamed of traveling the world and financially supporting my family. I've also thought about charity but I've always doubted that I will donate a lot. I'm being honest. I want to help but I'm cheap. I want to help.

I feel sorry for the poor. I feel disgusting whenever I go out to the bars and see those people selling flowers getting plowed by drunk people just because they're trying to make a living. I know it's their choice but why does money mean so fucking much in this world.

Maybe I'll be a doctor and give back that way. Maybe I'll grow up and stop being cheap.